Parent jokes
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.
One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.
One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.
The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"
Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They can’t cry to their parents.
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
When I'm bored, I like to slap orphans. I mean, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.
Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents!
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They’re both alone, but only one is home.
What did the orphan say to his parents?
I'm tripping balls right now!
My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.
Why do orphans want to be gay?
So they have someone to call "Daddy."
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"