Parent jokes

Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?

Because there is never anyone at the door.

I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.

Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.

Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

Friend 2: Pizza.

Friend 3: Donuts.

Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

Where does an orphan come from?

Daddy getting milk.

At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"

I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

Mom, can I please go out and play?

... no answer.

Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.

I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...

Why did the orphan become a prostitute?

Because they needed someone to call "daddy".

joe: Are your mom and dad nice?

zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.

joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.

Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?

Parental Login: __________

What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?

Kill their parents.

What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?

Call their parents.

Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

The apples get picked.

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."