Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
Parent Jokes
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
Because they needed someone to call "daddy".
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.
Son: Why?
Father: You’ll need them there.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
Why do orphans prefer iPhones under the iPhone X? Because they have a home button.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
