Once I got out of bed, my butt hurt afterward.
What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?
You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What's harder than taking a shit?
Trying to take a shit while constipated!
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.
Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
What happens when you kick a boy in the balls?
THEY NUTS ARE IN PAIN.
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
I'm like a rubber because people hit me as I can't feel.
What did the girl say when she ran through the door?
Ouch.
Clarie: I don't even care if it was a joke he made on me, you and Karlen, and if you think I'm getting over it, then you must have an oatmeal for a brain.
Jordan: Clarie ... you are so sensitive when she tells a little joke about you, me, and Karlen.
Clarie: It was painful!
Jordan: Who cares? I laughed. Ben is not a bad person, okay, calm down.
Clarie: Ben is a bad person. We are making friends with a bully/thug, but you say that he is not a "bad person", my mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am hanging out with those kinds of people!
Jordan: Then don't tell her! Listen, I need you, give Ben a chance! Please?
Clarie: Shush, Karlen is coming!
Karlen: Hey guys, that Ben guy for sure has a way of saying words, I wish I could hurt him!!
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.
My family is like Donkey Kong: a real pain in the ass.
