Pain jokes
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
I got shot once. Now I'm holey.
What kind of ball does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Memes
Yesterday I was in a wind storm.
Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
My bum hurts.
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?
It squirted in my eye, God dammit!
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.