Pain jokes
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.