Pain jokes
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!
You're a train; you ran fast on these rails, but you gain nothing, you only gain pain.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.
OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.