Pain jokes
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Credit to omnom.
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
Yesterday I was in a wind storm.
Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.
If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.
It isn't any of those if it's suicide.