Pain jokes
My bum hurts.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
Being gay must be a pain in the ass.
Credit to omnom.
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
Yesterday I was in a wind storm.
Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?