You: You are such a flick pain.
Me: You are flick pain to my sight.
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
Alles tut weh.
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
Lostin Flowers14 days ago What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
i can make a word with those \DICK
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
being gay must be a pain in ass
credit to omnom
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
