Pain jokes
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”
She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
👌neck
Mary Rose sat on a pin. Mary Rose!
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
you.
I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.