My freind said he wanted to die and I told him not to jump but when he screamed hi im jhonny Knoxville and welcome to jackass I knew it was over
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam
Doctor: Yup
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor
We can't go under it... We can't go over it...
We have to go through it!
i just wanted to say to never let go of family they are everything never let anyone walk all over you and if you are with me like this quote
teacher: if u keep talking over me i'll call your parents! Orphan: YOU WILL?
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
yo hairline over here lookin like the Nile River
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
what shoes do pedofiles wear? White vans. How do pedofiles fit in? They force it to go in. How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedofile comes in. What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
People complain we are over- populated. Well then if we committed suicide then why do they be sad. It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad peoples?
Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat and asks the barmen if he wanted to hear a blonde joke, the barmen replies before you tell this joke I want to tell you something, see the women over there, she is a black belt in karate, she's blonde , see the bouncer over there he is also a blonde, see the chick over there with that pool que she is also blonde, also I have a shotgun behind the bar i'm blonde, so do you still want to tell your joke? He replies f**k that I ain't explaining the joke 4 times.
Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!
Me: Dont worry, it will all be over soon mom!
Mom: ❓❓❓
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls
What's better then sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother
A man comes home and hears her wife talking about having sex at the club, the man busts into the club with a revolver and says "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE" well everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says "mate you don't have enough bullets"
i swear in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers cant even win a war, might as well send all your school shooters over there
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
