Otherness jokes

Why did the child cross the road?

To get to the other slide.

Why do white people colonize everything?

To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.

Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)

What did one cheese say to the other cheese?

"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.

The pilot goes "We're going down!"

The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds.

An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive."

But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happened to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"

Why did the pedophile cross the road?

Because there was a school on the other side.

What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.

Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."

I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.

I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?

Kurt Cobain's microphone.

"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."

I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.

What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?

"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"

What did one hurricane say to the other?

"I got my EYE on you!"

What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?

"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"

People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.

Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.

Others, tearfully: Stop shipping real people!!

Me, packing an old lady in a FedEx box: Nope!

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We are both lawyers.

The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

Masochists and sadists are made for each other.