Otherness jokes

What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?

One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.

Michael J. Fox came up to me the other day and introduced himself to me. He said, "Hey, what’s shaking?"

I said, "You."

What did one God say to the other?

"I will die to be a man."

Why did one emo say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

Masochists and sadists are made for each other.

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?

A: Covid.

The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...

There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."

I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.

I apologize for my grammar.

"Dad, what is 69?" asks son.

Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."

Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"

What did one alligator say to the other alligator?

"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"

There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.

The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"

The other day my friend messaged me saying, "bro I have two pieces of bad news for you." I told him to combine them. He replied with, "your girlfriend is cheating on both of us."

Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered three pepperoni pizzas and one came plain, the other came late, and the other one went to the wrong address.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.

What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other? LEAN BEEF!

Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."

So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"

The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.

So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"

"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."

Now, how about that drink?