Otherness jokes

What did the cow say to the other cow?

Moo you fine.

What did the pencil say to the other pencil?

Your looking sharp!

A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.

What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?

One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.

I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing. It just "waved!"

It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.

None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.

How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?

"Wanna hang together?"

In life, some people have it harder than others.

That's why Viagra exists.

It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.

Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.

There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.

One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."

The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."

The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"

What did the atom say to the other atom?

"Did you see the new Tron movie?"

What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?

"Cheetah, cheetah!"

I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."

The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.

Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.

Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!

Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!

Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!

I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.

There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.

This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"

His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"

There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.

One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!

What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"