Orphan jokes
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
Why can't orphans sign up for sports?
They have to have a parent's signature.
What’s an orphan's favorite game?
Catch.
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?
Because they don’t have a sister.
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
What is a "dad?"
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
Why don't orphans go on trips at school?
Parent signature: _______________
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
What's an orphan's dream job?
A builder, to build themselves a home.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.
What kind of flower do orphans use? Self-raising.
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
Q: What movie do orphans hate?
A: Fatherhood.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!