Original jokes

My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.

What do you call the original immigrants to the British Isles?

Anglosaxon.

I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."

She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."

A black man entered a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender says, "That looks exotic, where’d you get it?"

"Africa," the parrot responded.

Son: Hey, Dad, why is my name Dick?

Dad: Oh, because a dick fell on you when you were born.

Son: Ohhhhh, so that's why I'm gay.

A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus, and other genders came right from Uranus.

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."

John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.

Where are crackheads from?

OHIGHo

A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."

The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.

You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.

I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.

The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫

Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:

*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because it's not original at all.

Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?

Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.

Boy: Okay, Dad.

Dad: No problem, Brick.

Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?

COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.

Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!