Original jokes
Question: How was Covid-19 born?
Answer: Someone fucked Batman! 😂
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
Person A: Where do you come from?
Person B: Liberia.
Person A: *speaks softer* Oh sorry, do you come from?
Where does cotton candy come from? The cotton pickers!
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
Why is basketball called basketball?
Because you play with a basket.
What place is Flo Rida from? Florida.
Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?
Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!
How was Jenga invented?
By watching the Twin Towers collapse.
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."