OR jokes
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
Q: What do you call a "Wild Man" or "Wild Woman" on the Moon? A: A Luna-Tic!
And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.
Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?
Where do you take Stephen Hawking: to the hospital, or PC World?
Me: Hey you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong.
Trashy pig woman: Why?
Me: Because you smell like fart and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
What shows do orphans dream of?
Full House or Fuller House.
Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?
They're out of plane sight.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
Wanna know something the orphan could never do?
Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.
Is Google a girl or a boy?
Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.