OR jokes
Are those tears real or are they like you? Fake.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
Is it just me or is your personality fake as well? Can't tell because everything about you is.
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?
Why can't England play Clash, Chess, or Checkers?
Because they lost their queen.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
Once, asked if I played Scrabble, being dyslexic, I asked if it was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version.
There’s only one answer to who would win, 1996 Bulls or 2017 Warriors...
...Steve Kerr’s team.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
Is it me, or was 9/11 too plane? I thought it would be more exciting.
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
Why did the orphan become famous? Because they said, "Go big or go home!"
Why is the oldest iPhone an orphan?
It can't get the iPhone XI or XR. It doesn't have a home button.
What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?
An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.
What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?
Open wide, here comes the plane!