One jokes

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...

"Don't let your guard down."

Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?

A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.

Alen vs. Predator.

No one:

Taeil: "Happy Christmas~"

Haechan: "It's Merry Christmas."

What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?

One's a busy ditch.

Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.

Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?

The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.

You should go soul searching. Maybe you'll find one.

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.

My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.

Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.

I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.