One jokes

So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"

Why is Jesus in pieces?

Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.

What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."

Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.

Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?

No, because they already are on one.

Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.

The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫

Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?

Because that's the average classroom size.

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

It's sad someone has ligma.

One day I threw a boomerang...

Now I live in constant fear.

What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?

One of them is a domesticated pet.

Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?

A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.

Why did one emo say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

Why can’t orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call daddy.