One

One jokes

Blonde

What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?

One's a busy ditch.

Cunt

Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.

Blonde

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?

The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.

Memes

Building

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

Lesbian

Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?

Neither one of them, they eat out.

Difference

Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.

Mother-in-law

My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.

Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.

Vacuum

I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.

Hand

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

Unicycle

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.

Dad

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

Difference

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.

Ash

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

Dad

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

Comma

What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

Friend

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.