One jokes
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
Memes
It's sad someone has ligma.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
Why did one emo say to the other?
"I like your cuts, G."
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.