One jokes
I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.
The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Memes
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?
No, because they already are on one.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
It's sad someone has ligma.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.