One jokes

What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?

That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr

So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.

What’s one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in school zones.

What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...

There is always a kitchen in the back.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.

Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”

The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

There is one rapist among us.

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.

What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.

The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."

The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."

The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.

I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.