One jokes

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy".

What’s one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in school zones.

So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.

The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.

What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...

There is always a kitchen in the back.

There is one rapist among us.

Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?

The grim reaper.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.

Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”

The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

What is the difference between the government and organized crime?

Only one of them is organized.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

What do orphans and garbage have in common?

They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the aeroplane!"

"And here comes the second one!"

I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!