One jokes

I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy".

What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?

That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr

What’s one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in school zones.

So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.

What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...

There is always a kitchen in the back.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.

Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”

The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

There is one rapist among us.

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.

What is the difference between the government and organized crime?

Only one of them is organized.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!