What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores... There is always a kitchen in the back
3 men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live, only if they could achieve one thing. They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each. The first person returned with apples, the leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1....2 he screamed. The next person came back with grapes, 1,2,3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing, he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well, "well i saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
My friendās mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness. Upon learning about her daughterās cancer diagnosis she said, āWell honey, at least youāll lose some weight!"
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
There is one rapist among us
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website anyone can fake to be someone there not and no one will know the goddam difference Iām just trying to look at/make jokes and Iām getting shit from people saying āitās too offensiveā or something like goddam just take that shit somewhere else
Gow do you keep tour friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
so the coach got mad at me cause im the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum and i was just keeping the ball to myself and the coach pulled me aside and said pass to others i said why and he said theres no i in team and i said ya but theres an m e
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing but when i the it people just looked horrified.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halenās jump at his funeral
I told a joke and some1 said "no one asked" then i said "no one would care to even ask"
2 men ran into a bar, you would have thought after the first one hit it the second one would have seen it
my teacher: if you could go anywhere where would you go...me: demon slayer. my teacher: why. the quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese Restaraunt. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what is going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
Your hairline is so long when you finally found the length of your hairline you told it to some one and they said donāt give me your phone number
