One jokes

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

Don't you just hate it when you're the first one to fall asleep at a sleepover, and then you hear, "Prank em, John?"

Why do black men have nightmares?

Because the only one that had a dream got shot.

I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.

Why was the orphan so successful?

They told him, "Go big or go home," he only had one option.

What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.

I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."

Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.

My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.

I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"

How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?

Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"

What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

I love all races, even the bad ones.