One jokes
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?
That's my one teacher 24/7💀
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!
I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
I love all races, even the bad ones.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Why was the orphan so successful?
They told him, "Go big or go home," he only had one option.
I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.