One jokes
It's not a war crime if no one's alive to report it.
What's one plus one?
Yo mama.
Tell someone to spell "Icup."
Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"
No one is smart. I am smart.
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.
Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
Who does an orphan play soccer with?
No one.
Why are orphans' funerals so small?
They have no loved ones.
Good Morning Everyone, have a good and positive day!
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.