One jokes

One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?

One "knight"!!!

One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.

That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.

What does a refrigerator and a gay male have in common?

Only one farts when you pull the meat out. 🌝🌝🌝

Q: What did one snake say to the other?

A: Nothing because they are both dead.

So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"

Why can't he say that?

Answer: He works at an orphanage.

This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!

Want to hear a pun?

Well, I'll punch you with one!

Wanna hear a pun?

Welp, I'll punch you with one!

What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?

One does not crow when you put it in an oven.

Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.

If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.

One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.

What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?

A baby you cut one off each time.

What’s the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?

One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.

I told my fam a joke.

They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"

How do rappers greet each other?

With a "Mic check, one-two."

Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."

"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.

So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.

One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"

He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"