One jokes

Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.

Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.

My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?

One goes up and one goes down.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?

One lasts long and another doesn't.

Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.

"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.

There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?

Home Depot.

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

No one.

No one who?

No one who?

If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.

Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.