One

One jokes

Charity

I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.

Job

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

Comeback

Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*

Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*

2021-2022

Gun

One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.

Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.

Hotdog

Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?

"Ketchup!"

Banana

Why did a girl like bananas?

Because one day she might need to be ready.

DJ

Person one: What did the DJ name his son?

Person two: IDK, what?

Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).

Climber

What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?

Man, you are really on edge.

Bank

One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......

It’s a wood hulem.

Dog

Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.

Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.

Hairline

What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?

He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”

Orphan

Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?

Because there is no one to teach them.

Plane

What did one plane say to the other?

"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."

Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"

Pattern

What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?

S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Baby

What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.

Pencil

I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.