One jokes

Little boy: Momma?

Mom: Yes, my dear.

Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

Mom: Why!?

Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

What did one candle say to the other?

"Want to go out tonight?"

Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.

I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.

It didn't work.

Why can't an orphan go to school?

They have no one to sign the parent signature.

Who were the people that survived 9/11?

The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.

What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?

One goes up and one goes down.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

What has only one sense of style?

An emo girl.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

What's one advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

Jesus was the one who created the T pose, not Fortnite.