One jokes

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.

Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?

3 minutes later:

Why didn't I listen to the strong one?

What's one advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

What did one candle say to the other?

"Want to go out tonight?"

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

Jesus was the one who created the T pose, not Fortnite.

One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.

I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

Why should China be a baseball team?

Because they can take out the entire world with just one bat!

Who were the people that survived 9/11?

The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

How many gears does a French tank have?

One forward and six reverse.

What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?

"That's nacho cheese!"

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.