One jokes
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
What did one canyon say to the other?
You stay here, I'm gonna rise up on ahead.
Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"
Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.
Why are orphans' funerals so small?
They have no loved ones.
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde, and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard, and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde, and she struck the pervert."
The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me, and she slapped him."
The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark, and she slapped me by mistake."
The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
One rainy day a NASCAR race was going on and they had no other choice but to use this bitch's forehead. https://sportsrecruits.com/athlete/morgan_tomporowski
There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one that had a dream got shot.
Why is 1 equal to 22?
4 is too busy and one has the 21s to 4!
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"
Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.