One jokes

Which one fell first?

The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.

One time I went to high-five someone. I've been left hanging ever since.

What does one boob say to the other boob?

If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"

Roses are red, I sniff marijuana, I have five fingers, The middle one is for your vagina.

What is one plus one?

It's TOO hard!

Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.

Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.

Why are they called s’mores?

Because you always want another one!

Did you hear the one about the deaf person?

Me: No.

That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.

Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?

A: She moans with the other.

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.

Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."

So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.

After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.

What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?

"I think I feel a connection!"

No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.

Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?

A. "We're in the Matrix."

The one by die.

What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?

One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.