Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
One Jokes
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? -- An envelope.
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?
