One jokes
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
Why did everyone quit the high school volleyball team? To join Coach Kyle's team, of course!
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
A horse and a bear walk into a bar... Oh wait, can't tell that one!
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
What did one Justin say to the other Justin?
- Fuck you.
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"