Old jokes
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
A cop pulls over an old man.
The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The old man said, "No."
Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?
What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only 2 13-year-olds went down on Kobe's helicopter.
So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" 😅😅😅
Have you heard about kids with AIDS?
It never gets old.
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
"Okay, Boomer."
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's twenty of them!
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like? Depends...
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?
They both collapsed.
A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.
She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
I heard China aborts 25% of female babies. That's a lot of dead 3-year-old gender-affirmed girls.
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.