Old jokes

When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"

Me: "Oh hell nah"

Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101

Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯

Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....

Good thing my brother's a little bit different.

A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?

Answer: He was born on February 29.

Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.

Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?

In case they get a hole in one.

Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.

Her: Prove it.

Me: (opens freezer)

I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.

How can you find out how old a cabbage is?

By looking at its cabbAGE.

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?

Cremation.

NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.

MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.

What is an old lady's favorite exercise?

Trying to get up from the soft couch.

Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.

What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.

What's the worst part about getting old?

Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!

Did you hear about Fridgetair

Kelvinator?

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!