Old jokes

Yo mama is so fat and old, when Jesus said "Let there be Light!" he told your mama to move out of the way!

What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?

Organ harvesting.

I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.

I decided to go home.

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.

I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.

Your mama is so old that she forgot her donkey on Noah's Ark.

What do you call a 17-year-old orphan?

Homeless.

"You get no bitches," said the man to the 60-year-old redneck virgin guy who is obese and balding with "Trump" stuff plastered all over his pickup truck.

I heard China aborts 25% of female babies. That's a lot of dead 3-year-old gender-affirmed girls.

"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"

"Cancer."

An old man walks in a forest with a child, and the child says, "It's dark, and I'm scared." The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out alone."

How do you check that a rabbit is old?

You check how many gray hares it has.

I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.

It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?

The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.

Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"

Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."

Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.

What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?

A rhino.

What is an old lady's favorite exercise?

Trying to get up from the soft couch.

What do you call an 18 year old orphan?

Homeless.