Old jokes
I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.
Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D
Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.
how old are my girlfriends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?
They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.
Donald Trump travels back in time to talk to his 10-year-old self.
When he sees himself, he says, "Do you see me? I am you, but almost 70 years older."
His 10-year-old self asks him, "Am I going to be famous?"
Trump replies, "Oh yeah, I became president of the United States. Not once. Twice!"
10-year-old Donald was shocked. But he became even more shocked when he heard the next sentence from his current self: "And now take off your pants!"
I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?
In case they get a hole in one.
Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.