Old jokes

My owl turned 180 today.

He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.

I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.

Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D

Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.

Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.

How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?

Cremation.

Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.

MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.

Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?

Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!

What is an old lady's favorite exercise?

Trying to get up from the soft couch.

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.

Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.

Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.

Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯

I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101

When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"

Me: "Oh hell nah"