Old jokes

I’ve seen more life in a bowl of WEEK-OLD GUACAMOLE than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.

What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?

The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.

Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.

Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.

So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.

Then I told him, "What are you doing?"

He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.

He then told me how easy would that be?

I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?

Depends...

I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.

I decided to go home.

The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"

What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?

Organ harvesting.

Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.

What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?

There's twenty of them!

Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

What does Michael Jackson like about 28 year olds? There's 20 of them!

What do you call a 90-year-old black man?

Antique farming equipment.

At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Steve!"

"Steve who?"

Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's has reached a point where she can no longer remember him.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70-year-old.