Old jokes

Did you hear about Fridgetair

Kelvinator?

What is an old lady's favorite exercise?

Trying to get up from the soft couch.

Blud is so old he pre-ordered the Torah.

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.

Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.

Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

How can you find out how old a cabbage is?

By looking at its cabbAGE.

Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101

When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"

Me: "Oh hell nah"

Hey, what's your age, Jordan? Probably 5 years old.

Why do golfers bring a spare pair of socks?

In case they get a hole in one.

A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?

Answer: He was born on February 29.

Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.

Her: Prove it.

Me: (opens freezer)

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

Old McDonald cuts himself. E-m E-m-O!

Yo mama is so old, when I told her to act her age, she died.