Old jokes
Have you heard about kids with AIDS?
It never gets old.
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like? Depends...
What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's twenty of them!
Girl: Can we visit Grandma this weekend?
Mother: Sure.
Five-year-old: Look mommy! Two people and they're wearing rope necklaces!
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
I heard China aborts 25% of female babies. That's a lot of dead 3-year-old gender-affirmed girls.
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
I’ve seen more life in a bowl of WEEK-OLD GUACAMOLE than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.
Police: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH?
Police: Ends call.
Me: Calls hospital.
Hospital: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.
Hospital: Hangs up.
Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.
Fire: No fire.
Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?
Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.