Old jokes

My owl turned 180 today.

He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

My girlfriend called me a pedophile.

And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.

What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?

Miracle Whip.

If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!

What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?

They both collapsed.

If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.

What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.

It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.

If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.

I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.

OLD KLADYBOFSIYTFJT

Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?

Because it was over 10 years old.

Old McDonald cuts himself.

E-M-E-M O!