Old Jokes

A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth... I don't have any now.

if babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born.

Knock knock who is there old lady old lady who?

I DID NOT KNOW YOU CAN YOLDL

In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:

“Jfc ****, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to god you’re so fucking bougie.” (Pause) “Oh I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan...” “Jeff who?” “Bezos.”

Q: What's the difference between a grandma fetish, and necrophilia. A: a few weeks.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Steve!"

"Steve who?"

Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's have reached a point where she can no longer remember him.

God- make a grumpy old man president Angel-why g-cause I said so-name him trump a-okay G-make him not pay taxes a-okay... Fast forwrd to 2020 G- you know that grumpy old man a-yea... G-make him create a deadly virus named after a beer A- Krona G- exactly A- why do you hate humans so much G- because I can.

That's not my age; it's just not true. My heart is young; the time just flew. I'm staring at this strange old face,and someone else is in my space.

My girlfriend is born at 29 February, so does that mean she is 2 years old🤔

The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old, that my pussy is haunted".

come back old members

dad: hey son do you like Christmas? 12 year old me: yeah! dad: well how would you feel about two me: what?

yo mama so old she witnessed noah building the ark

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad ya definitely got the last laugh!