Old

Old jokes

Terrorist

What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?

"Okay, Boomer."

Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?

To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

Morbid jokes

Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?

A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.

The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.

When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.

While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.

We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.

An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:

Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."

Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"

Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."

Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"

Man: "I’m telling everybody!"

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.