Old

Old Jokes

Woman

I like my women like I like my scotch:

12 years old and mixed with coke.

Michael Jackson

The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.

Man

What do you call a 90-year-old black man?

Antique farming equipment.

Incest

While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.

We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.

Confession

An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:

Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."

Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"

Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."

Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"

Man: "Iโ€™m telling everybody!"

Clothing

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue.

These jokes are old, come up with something new!

Black Hole

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

Whatโ€™s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.

Priest

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

Butterfly

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.

Woman

I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.

Donald Trump

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

Assault

I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.

Nothing much, I just decided to go home.

Black Hole

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ