An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:
Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."
Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"
Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."
Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"
Man: "I’m telling everybody!"
I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
Roses are red, violets are blue. These jokes are old, come up with something new.
Did you know there’s black holes billions of years old? What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied We’re only 14 years old.
Whats the difference between a priest and MCDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you. She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter"
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted Nothing much I just decided to go home
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA they study black whole that are 8 billion years old while he was down here on earth staring at 14 your olds black holes.😈😈😈
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower? Slick her hair she looks 15
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
a guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl he asked for her number and of course, she said no, he asked the bus driver for advice and he said that girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 pm and look for a statue of an angel so he dresses up as god goes to the grave and she sees him she says oh lord end my misery kill me now and he said only if you do something for me first she replied what is it oh mighty lord he said to have sex with me she agreed they had sex and when she was done sucking his dick he said I have something to tell you he took of his costume and said I'm the guy from the bus and she took off her costume I'm the bus driver. (does anyone remember this it's an old joke someone made or does no one remember this I didn't make this but it went smth like this)
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters, I think he didn’t like it, because I challenged him to a no hands contest. He said but I don’t have any. He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted I decided to go home
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises or get one dollar for saying the N word
