Old jokes

So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"

Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.

White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!

Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.

Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?

The seventh door.

Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"

James replied, "He's as old as me."

Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."

James then said, "He became my father when I was born."

Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.

Guys, I know this is kinda weird, but everyone who wants to... Put your name and your age in the comment section. Not address though because that would not be good for creepers... Lol I am Lucy and I am 15 years old. What about you guys? :D

I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.

What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

They both like keeping one sock for themselves.

how old are my girlfriends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters

My owl turned 180 today.

He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.

What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?

They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.

A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.

A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.

Yo mama so fat and old, she is the reason the Great Depression happened.

Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!

Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."