Old jokes

Any 8 year old: Sus!

Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!

Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....

Good thing my brother's a little bit different.

What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?

Organ harvesting.

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!

Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?

A. They never get old.

POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.

Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

Have you heard about kids with AIDS?

It never gets old.

What do 7 year old girls want?

To be ate!

What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?

One eats tape while the other eats pussy.

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

What's common in vampires and American kids?

They both don't get old.

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."