Old jokes
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
What's common in vampires and American kids?
They both don't get old.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
What do 7 year old girls want?
To be ate!
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.