Old jokes

What do 7 year old girls want?

To be ate!

Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?

I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......

How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.

Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?

A. They never get old.

Any 8 year old: Sus!

Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!

Why would the chicken not cross the road?

Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)

What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?

A candle or a pencil!

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

Have you heard about kids with AIDS?

It never gets old.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

What's common in vampires and American kids?

They both don't get old.

You look too old to be living with your grandma.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?

One eats tape while the other eats pussy.

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?

Alzheimer's.

At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."