Old Jokes

what is black and white and red all over answer: a newspaper that is what my 3 year old told me 😍

Why did the priest buy a clown suit? Because the old one had blood all over it.

my 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story - she gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist , - the cashier scanned it and replied with " ma'am this item is worthless "

Mia’s mother has 5 kids Lilly abby Alexa mila and.... Q: who is last A: Mia Knock knock who’s there little old lady little old lady who little old lady you don’t need to yodel about it

You're old enough to remember when emojis were called "hieroglyphics."

These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean seriously haven't you got something better to tell

Worst jokes ever? more like a killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty red lobster not the one near thr freeway and hid the body in a creek

17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved they quickly resolved the threat.

Why do eight year old girls wear panties with flowers on? In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there

Little red riding hood has to deliver food to her gramma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her gramma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked liked her gramma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little red riding hood?

Answer:16

An old man gets the call from the IRS The man on the phone says, “we’ve noticed large sums of money coming in and going out of your account constantly and we gotta get this straight. Come in tomorrow and we’ll have a chat about this.” The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him.

The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,”So we’ve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. Can you explain this?” The man replies,”Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. Like this! I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye.” The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. He then says,”Wait. I’ll give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye.” The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isn’t blind, takes the bet. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. He then says,”alright last chance. I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between.” The agent thinks real hard but decides it’s impossible so takes the bet. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. The agent jumps up and down and says, “haha! I got you now!” But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,”He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and you’d just love it!”

One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. 'Why are you early, it is not even christmas?' - ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Lets worry about you instead' says Santa. What is the problem my friend?' - I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i'll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!

I like my women like a day. 20 four year olds. 24 hours of fun

Hey did you know Paul walker's gay Why do you say that Because he likes to wrap himself around long old wood

On Paxomedy channel I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting. I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dag down the issue it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch and that was the beginning of their fight and wierd enough the Cock won! I went to congratulate the winner but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldnt have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!

Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?

In fact, they don't age at all.

A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money. Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole. The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money. The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money you worthless old fart.”