New Old Jokes - Page 4 - Worst Jokes Ever

Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.

Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.

Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"

What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?

Depends

Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.

Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.

I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.

Maybe I'm just too old at this point.

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?

They both like keeping one sock for themselves.

What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?

The 2028 US election.

At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.

Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.

What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?

Alzheimer's.

A note for my old English Teacher:

Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...

And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:

"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."

😳

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?

Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.