Old jokes
Yo mama so old, she witnessed Noah building the ark.
Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! 😭😭
Old ladies are non existent.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old.)
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.
Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.
Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"
Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
God damn it. Fuck Christianity. I'm fucking 30 years old and still a virgin.
THAT'S A JOKE GOD DAMMIT!
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
What is something that smells yuck? 🤮
Old bus seats.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!