Occupation jokes
What do you call a rapper who's also a scientist?
RHYME-STEIN.
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
Did you hear about the red and blue ships that collided? All the sailors were marooned.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
"My name is Osama, I lost my jobba, so I became a BOMBA 💣"
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B.
What's the most difficult thing about being a pediatric surgeon?
Keeping the scalpel steady while masturbating.
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
Knock knock! Who's there? Stripper. Stripper who? Stripper down!
Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.
He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.
A fireman, a policeman, and a carpenter went on a fishing trip. The fireman and the policeman both have the same father but different mothers, and they are half-brothers. But the fireman and the carpenter have the same mother and father, but they are not brothers. How is this possible?
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What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
The rapist is a therapist.
Lol.
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he was always COOKING UP RHYMES!
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his fillings checked.