Occupation jokes
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
Did you hear about the red and blue ships that collided? All the sailors were marooned.
Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.
Knock knock! Who's there? Stripper. Stripper who? Stripper down!
What's the most difficult thing about being a pediatric surgeon?
Keeping the scalpel steady while masturbating.
"My name is Osama, I lost my jobba, so I became a BOMBA 💣"
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
What do you call a rapper who's also a scientist?
RHYME-STEIN.
Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.
He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.
A fireman, a policeman, and a carpenter went on a fishing trip. The fireman and the policeman both have the same father but different mothers, and they are half-brothers. But the fireman and the carpenter have the same mother and father, but they are not brothers. How is this possible?
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What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
The rapist is a therapist.
Lol.
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he was always COOKING UP RHYMES!
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
M.C. Grill