Occupation jokes
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
"My name is Osama, I lost my jobba, so I became a BOMBA 💣"
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B.
What's the most difficult thing about being a pediatric surgeon?
Keeping the scalpel steady while masturbating.
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
Knock knock! Who's there? Stripper. Stripper who? Stripper down!
Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.
Couldn't believe how much of a bad mood my work mate was in this morning. So I decided to ask him what was the matter and if everything was OK with his wife, Flo.
He then broke down crying and said when he got home the night before, he caught his wife in bed with the plumber. I tried to console him as best as I could, but he just couldn't get over flow.
A fireman, a policeman, and a carpenter went on a fishing trip. The fireman and the policeman both have the same father but different mothers, and they are half-brothers. But the fireman and the carpenter have the same mother and father, but they are not brothers. How is this possible?
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What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
The rapist is a therapist.
Lol.
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
Why did the rapper become a teacher?
Because they had a knack for dropping KNOWLEDGE.
Why did the rapper become a construction worker?
Because they were always BUILDING UP their RHYMES!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to drop some HOT BARS in the kitchen!
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his fillings checked.