Object jokes
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.
H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K:
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
I tried to find my watch I lost last week, but I didn't have the time.
What do you call a mug? A mug dummy.
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
What did the knife say to the other knife?
"Knife to meet you."
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What is black and white and sits in a tree?
A fridge wearing a leather jacket! XD
What is blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
What did the sunglasses say to the banana?
Nothing, sunglasses can’t talk.
What picture is that?
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.