Obesity jokes
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!
Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!
Yo mama so fat the scale said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!
Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.
Yo mama so fat, she blocked my internet connection.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
Yo mama so fat, she plays ping pong with the planets.
Yeah, Asians have squinty eyes, but that's because they have had the displeasure of seeing so many ugly obese Americans in one place.
Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends sooner for fat people.