Obesity jokes
What is an obese lady's blood type?
Nutella.
Yo mama so fat, she uses the equator as her belt.
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
Yo mama is so unfamiliar with the gym, she calls it James.
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.
I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
Yo mama's so fat, she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
Yo mama so fat, she is fat.
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
"You get no bitches," said the man to the 60-year-old redneck virgin guy who is obese and balding with "Trump" stuff plastered all over his pickup truck.
Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
When you went to McDonald's and sat down, you were so fat, they said, "TBC."