Yeah, Asians have squinty eyes, but that's because they have had the displeasure of seeing so many ugly obese Americans in one place.
Why are people in Japan so thin? Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C (Extra cholesterol)
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
Why are obese jokes so offensive? Because fat people have enough on their plate
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese
I know 5 fat people, you're 4 of them
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement? Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese
do you wanna know how I recently seduced and obese woman, actually it was a piece of cake
Your mom is so fat she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D (Obesity)
You get no bitches said the man to the 60 year old reckneck virgin guy who is obese and balding with "trump" stuff plastered all over his pickup truck.
what is the only place fat people live? obi-city
What do we want A cure for obesity When do we want it After lunch
Yo mama so fat, she plays ping pong with the planets.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today. Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ” What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavourless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelard.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favourite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
You're so fat that when you got on the scales they said "I need your weight not your phone number"
