New Obesity Jokes

Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!

Yeah, Asians have squinty eyes, but that's because they have had the displeasure of seeing so many ugly obese Americans in one place.

Why are people in Japan so thin?

Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.

I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

(Extra Cholesterol)

Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"

Friend: "Your blood pressure!"

yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it told her "I wanted your weight not your phone number."

Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:

Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.

Why are obese jokes so offensive? Because fat people have enough on their plate

Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese

I know 5 fat people, you're 4 of them

Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.

You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement? Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.

Yo mama so fat when she went to the movie theater, she sits next to everyone.

Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends sooner for fat people.

Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.

Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.