Numbers jokes

A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."

I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"

Gf: "You are a drug."

Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"

Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."

4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.

Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"

Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.

The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.

How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.

You know what’s odd?

Every other number.

Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?

Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.

Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)

What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?

There’s 20 of them.

Why can't a blonde call 911?

She can't find the 11.

I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?

Age is just a number,

Jail is just a room.

What was Hitler's lucky number?

Nein.

Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!

"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"

I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.

Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.

yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it told her "I wanted your weight not your phone number."

What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.

Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).

Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.

Why was 10 scared of 9?

Because 9 8 7.