Numbers jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.

10 Fun Facts.

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.

A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."

The number 13? Not on my watch!

I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.

So I asked a Chinese woman for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight."

Her friend said "No, it's 666-3629."

People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?

Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.

A fake name and a fake phone number.

What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?

"May I push your stool in?"

Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:

"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."

I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.

I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?

You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣

Girls are like math, if they're under 10, use your fingers.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.

So 6 is scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 10 have PTSD?

He was stuck in the middle of 9/11.