Numbers jokes
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
What's 9 + 10?
21
I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.
Now I'm terrified of airports.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."