Numbers jokes
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.
Friend: Like what?
Me: My name, my address, my phone number...
What's the emergency number, Jimmy?
Jimmy: 9/11!
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.
I like my clocks like I like people.
Under 12.
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."