Numbers Jokes

I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.

What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?

Two number NEINs.

There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.

How many are hungry?

A. 10

It was pornography class, and there was a break.

Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...

Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!

Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?

Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...

Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Teacher: Where's the D?

Adult 2: Inside me...

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"

He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"

Spider-Man and Deadpool are sitting at desks in a classroom. Spider-Man is writing on his test with a pen. Deadpool is writing with scissors. There is text that reads: "Pssst, spidey, what'd you get for number seven?" "Dude, shut up! I don't wanna get in trouble!" "I got Waterloo." "This is a math test!" Are we not going to talk about the fact that deadpool is writing with scissors.

Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.

Friend: Like what?

Me: My name, my address, my phone number...

What's the emergency number, Jimmy?

Jimmy: 9/11!

What number is better; 46 or 47?

I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.

I like my clocks like I like people.

Under 12.

Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."

Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.

Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.

Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.

The answer is 0.

What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).

I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!

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Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!

A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"

The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."