Numbers jokes
What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
Memes
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
What's the square root of 2001?
9/11
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
Why can Asian people buy phones?
'Cause they might call the wrong number.
What is one plus one?
It's TOO hard!
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?
You octoply, obviously.
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.