Numbers jokes
I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
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What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
Memes
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
What's the square root of 2001?
9/11
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
Why can Asian people buy phones?
'Cause they might call the wrong number.
What is one plus one?
It's TOO hard!
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?
You octoply, obviously.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
Yo mama so fat the scale said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."