Numbers jokes
Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
What do you do to 7 to make it even? Take off the "s".
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
What's the square root of 2001?
9/11
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"
He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"
Why can Asian people buy phones?
'Cause they might call the wrong number.
What is one plus one?
It's TOO hard!
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?
You octoply, obviously.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.