Numbers jokes
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
Your mom #69.
Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?
Why is 10 so scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11.
Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"
Why is 10 afraid? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, then why was 10 afraid? Because it was right in the middle of 9/11.
6, 7, and 8 are all scared of 10, but 10 is also scared. Why was 10 scared?
Because it was stuck between 9 and 11.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
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What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
"Gotta number one victory royale."
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣
You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"