Numbers jokes
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
Why was the number 10 afraid?
Because it was with 9 and 11, and it makes 911.
The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight. 21!
Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.
Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.
Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.
The answer is 0.
A lot of things changed when I got my girlfriend pregnant: my name, my address, and my phone number.
What’s 1+1?? The number of parents orphans don’t have!
Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.
Friend: Like what?
Me: My name, my address, my phone number...
Girls are like math, if they're under 10, use your fingers.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
Why is there no phone in China?
Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
Your mama so white that her first number was 911.
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
Why was number 10 scared?
It was surrounded by 9/11.