Number jokes

Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?

Because 511472.

Read this slow: I 1 2 4 Q?

Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:

"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.

8008135 is my favorite number.

The worst ratio is 6:9.

And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.

You know what’s odd?

Every other number.

1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"

A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

My name, my address, and my phone number.

Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.

I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.

My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.

I said “40.”

Your mama so white that her first number was 911.

Women: Can I have your number?

Jesus: No.

Women: Why? Are you scared?

Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

What is the highest number?

420.

Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.

A fake name and a fake phone number.

I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.

He was a great πthon.

Gf: "You are a drug."

Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"

Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."