Number jokes
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
Miss Boob had a 69-pound boob. She had been yelled at 2-2-2 much. She went to 51 doctors, went to Doctor X, and after 8 surgeries, she became boobless!
I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭
What happens when you search nudes on my phone?
Nothing, I don't have any.
I was rolling dice online and this is the first two I get (again)
What kind of number hates nuts?
17.
Why can Asian people buy phones?
'Cause they might call the wrong number.
Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?
Answer: Because they already ate.
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?
To draw the curtains.
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"
He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"