Now jokes

I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.

It is now legal to bully an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.

I named my dog "5 miles," so now I can tell people I walk "5 miles" everyday. 😏😎

I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.

Autobots, "Roll Out!"

Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.

These are bee puns.🐝

I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

Teacher: Don’t run into the road!

Down syndrome: Weeeeee!

Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.

Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.

Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D

Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.

Now it’s $3.99.

You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.

If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.

Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?

No, because he is dead.

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.

TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.

My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.