Not jokes
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
What is the difference between a house and a car? A car can drive and a house can not drive.
9/11 is not funny. It's just plane disrespectful to make fun of it.
Bob has no arms.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's not Bob."
What do you call a blind German? A not-see Nazi.
Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?
There wasn't enough space to fly it.
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, I pray God I'm not so ugly as you.
I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!
At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"
Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Yeah, not too bad at all, really.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Nacho cheese.
Try not to <3.
What does NASA stand for?
Not Another Strong Astronaut.
In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills.
The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation.
The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue.
In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.